Wow, what a long break it’s been. I didn’t even mean to take one, but it seems like there were other things I needed to focus on since I’ve been gone. I realized the other day that it has been over a year since I became a Muslim, alhamdulillah. So much has happened in one year that it feels like it’s been a lot longer. I’m so grateful.
My first full year of being Muslim and my first full year of being married has been crazy. So much newness was going on that I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I didn’t have the best attitude at times and there were plenty of pity parties and tears. I was so glad my husband wasn’t around to see the worst of it. See, long distances has its perks sometimes! As beautiful as this year has been on the outside, there were a lot of growing pains on the inside. So much mental struggle and adjustment to my new life that I honestly wasn’t prepared for. But it was a part of growing up and completely normal. I’m sitting here today at peace and truly happy with where I am at. I know that I have so much more growing to do and my life circumstances are not ideal but right now, I am really happy to be where I am. Something happened over the past couple of months. It all started with a hijama session (more on that later!) and then culminated this past week when I undertook a mini challenge to be more mindful.
Ever since then my head and heart have been so clear and so calm. So much mental and physical clutter has been thrown out or reorganized and it feels really good. Instead of approaching my life and myself with negativity, I’ve been shown by the mercy of Allah all the things to be grateful for. I’ve stopped trying to control when He has always had control and always will and I’m trying to focus on my deen and my relationships. These are the things I make dua for every day, that Allah will constantly remind me of my place and all the wonderful things He has done for me so far. I don’t know what the future holds right now but I am ready for it and insha’Allah, I will continue to grow in my deen.
Thank you so much to those of you still reading (may only be two of you but that’s ok :)) and insha’Allah I will have so much more content for you in the near future.